


One Surprise Too Many

by thequidditchpitch_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Slash, The Quidditch Pitch: The Changing Room
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-01-30
Updated: 2006-01-30
Packaged: 2018-10-27 08:39:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10805646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thequidditchpitch_archivist/pseuds/thequidditchpitch_archivist
Summary: Ron is angry and ready to show upthe champion of all things.





	One Surprise Too Many

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Annie, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Quidditch Pitch](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Quidditch_Pitch), which went offline in 2015 when the hosting expired, at a time I was not able to renew it. I contacted Open Doors, hoping to preserve the archive using an old backup, and began importing these works as an Open Doors-approved project in April 2017. Open Doors e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Quidditch Pitch collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thequidditchpitch/profile).

“What the bloody hell are you up to, Malfoy?!” Ron demanded, knocking Malfoy against the dungeon wall.

Instantly, the wands of Crabbe and Goyle were aimed at Ron’s head.

Calmly, Malfoy called off his minions. “Wands away, boys. Go on to the Great Hall. I’ll be along in a moment.”

Crabbe lowered his wand, but Goyle’s remained pointed at Ron’s temple.

“Goyle. Breakfast. Now!” Malfoy ordered.

Goyle snarled at Ron before tromping down the corridor with his bulky cohort.

“You sent Harry this owl, didn’t you?!” Ron insisted, waving a sheet of parchment in Malfoy’s face. “You want him to meet you on top of the Astronomy tower tonight? How cliché.”

“Do you always read other people’s mail, Weasley?” Malfoy smirked.

Ron sneered. “I’m not playing games with you, Malfoy. Harry’s mine, so back the hell off.” Fire filled Ron’s eyes.

“ _Yours_?” Malfoy snorted. “You’ve shagged him then, have you?”

Ron backed away, looking down at the floor.

“Didn’t think so.” A victorious grin lit up the Slytherin’s face. “I have, many times. He can’t get enough of my cock. We’re actually quite brilliant together. I fucked him so hard last night, I’m surprised he was able to get out of bed.” Malfoy beamed and triumphantly walked down the corridor.

“In your dreams, Malfoy!” Ron shouted after him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ron, where have you been?” Harry asked, the moment he saw him in Potions class.

Ron shrugged and folded his arms across his chest, glaring at Harry with pursed lips. To say he was surprised at Malfoy’s confession would be an understatement; he couldn’t even bring himself to look at Harry.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“What did you do last night, Harry?” Ron asked, his annoyance obvious in his tone.

“Huh? Last night? You were with me all night, mate.”

“Not _all_ night. You went up to bed before me and had your curtains pulled when I got there. I called your name but you didn’t answer.”

Harry looked very confused. “Did it occur to you that I may have been _asleep_?”

Ron noticed a few beads of sweat forming on Harry’s brow. “I thought so, until this morning.” Ron glanced at Malfoy who was, of course, staring at Harry.

“Ron, what in Merlin’s name are you on about?” Harry insisted.

“Settle down now. Settle down,” Professor Snape grumbled, as he swept into the room.

Ron was grateful, for once, to be interrupted by Snape. He couldn’t bear to talk to Harry just then.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The moment the bell rang, Ron gathered up his stuff and hurried out of the room.

He skipped his next class and snuck out to sit by the lake to think. He had never even been sure if Harry liked blokes. He always assumed that if Harry did, then he would most certainly be interested in _him_ —they were best mates, after all. His worse fear had always been that Harry was straight. He never dreamed that he’d be in competition over Harry with Malfoy.

He cursed himself now for not having had the bollocks to approach Harry about his feelings. Now that bloody prick had beaten him to the punch. He was so furious. He couldn’t believe that Harry would be with Malfoy. So what if he had gorgeous hair and perfect teeth and an arse that you could sink your—

“What’s the matter, Weasley? Can’t bear to be in the same room with Potter and me anymore?”

Ron spun around to see Malfoy standing behind him, smirking, as usual.

“Fuck off, Malfoy,” Ron spat, getting up and walking over to the grove of trees at the edge of the lake. He leaned against a tree, hoping that Malfoy would leave. He wasn’t in the mood to kick his arse at the moment. Unfortunately, it was not that easy to get rid of a Malfoy.

“I didn’t realize you were _this_ thick,” Malfoy drawled, in the superior tone which he always used with Ron.

Ron glared at him. “Just go and leave me alone, Malfoy. I’m not in the mood to play games with you.”

Malfoy stepped closer to Ron and pouted out his lip teasingly. “Oh, let’s do…it’s quite fun and I’d much prefer it to learning Arithmancy.”

“You’re a great arse, you know that.”

“What’s that?” Malfoy cupped his hand behind his ear. “You think I have a great arse?” He turned his backside toward Ron and looked over his shoulder while rubbing his arse with his hand. “Perhaps you’re not as thick as I thought.”

Ron exhaled a small laugh. “I imagine I’m much _thicker_ than you think… _longer_ too, actually.” He couldn’t help but grin at the surprised expression on Malfoy’s face.

Malfoy’s eyes ran down Ron’s body, stopping at his feet…his very large feet. “Bloody hell, Weasley, are you actually flirting with me?”

“NO!” Ron shouted.

Malfoy stepped even closer to him. “I think you are.”

“Am not.”

“Are too,” Malfoy placed his hand on Ron’s shoulder and grinned mischievously. “Care to prove it?”

“Prove _what_?”

“That your feet are that large for a good reason.” Malfoy wiggled his eyebrows and flashed Ron a crooked smile.

“Won’t Harry get upset?”

“Why do you care?”

“He’s my best mate.”

“Hmm, some best mate. I’d have thought for sure he would go to you when he wanted to dip his wick. If I were you, I’d be right pissed off at him.”

Ron furrowed his brow. Come to think of it, he _was_ angry with Harry. What better revenge could he get than stealing his shag partner? Ron would show Malfoy such a good time that he’d never go back to Harry. He’d show Harry what he missed out on by ignoring him.

Ron grabbed the sides of Malfoy’s face and kissed him hard on the mouth, shoving his tongue inside forcefully. Malfoy didn’t protest one bit. In fact, he met Ron’s tongue with his own and pressed his body against Ron’s.

Ron ran his mouth across Malfoy’s jaw and nibbled his way down his neck. Grabbing Malfoy’s arse in both hands, Ron pressed their lower bodies together. Malfoy was quite hard, which sent a rush of power and excitement straight to Ron’s own cock.

“Oh, yeah…that’s it,” Malfoy moaned. “Let out that frustration. Take me, Weasley.”

Those words wrapped themselves around Ron’s cock and stroked him to full hardness. He thrust against Malfoy, grinding fiercely.

“You know, Harry gives amazing head,” Malfoy whispered in Ron’s ear.

Ron had never actually sucked cock before, but he’d seen enough pictures in the magazines that he’d nicked from Fred and George. His determination to out-do Harry, the champion of all things, was so strong that he didn’t hesitate for a moment.

He grabbed Malfoy’s shoulders, spun him around, and slammed him up against the tree. He stared into Malfoy’s grey eyes for a moment and kissed him one more time before dropping to his knees.

Malfoy unfastened his trousers and pushed them and his shorts down as fast as he could. Ron stared at the sight before him, a look of sheer surprise frozen on his face. Malfoy was _huge_. He looked down for a second before returning his gaze to Malfoy’s face.

“Why aren’t your feet big?” Ron asked seriously, causing Malfoy to laugh triumphantly.

Ron wrapped his hand around the base of Malfoy’s cock and stroked him a few times. It felt strange to touch another bloke’s cock; strange, but extremely erotic. Ron wanted that cock in his mouth. He couldn’t resist if he tried.

First he swirled his tongue around the head as he had seen the blokes do in his brothers’ magazines. He moaned at the silkiness on his tongue and the hint of salt.

“Just suck it, Weasley. Forget the show.” Malfoy pulled Ron’s head back by the hair. Ron looked up, doe-eyed. “I want your hot mouth on my cock, now. That clear enough for you?”

Normally, Ron would have been furious with that tone, but in this situation he was surprised to find it completely turned him on. He opened his mouth and placed Malfoy’s cock on his tongue. His own cock was pressing against his zip, begging to be released.

After a few seconds to get used to the feel of having his mouth so full, Ron kicked into high gear. He sucked Malfoy hard, moving his head up and down as he rubbed his tongue against the shaft and swirled it around the head again and again. He kissed and licked his way down one side and back up the other.

Malfoy forced himself back inside Ron’s mouth and pushed his head all the way down to the base, twisting his hands in his hair. Ron had to concentrate not to gag. He opened his throat the way he had read to do. It was fantastic. He loved sucking cock. He couldn’t imagine why a guy would ever want to be with a girl. _This_ was unbelievable. The sounds that Malfoy was making--that _he_ was causing--were unbelievable.

“Fuck, Weasley, you’re going to make me come.”

Ron nearly came at hearing someone say that to him. He reached down and cupped Malfoy’s balls in his hand, squeezing them as his head bobbed up and down faster and faster. Seconds later, he felt Malfoy’s sac tighten in his hand. He pulled back, unsure if he actually wanted to swallow Malfoy’s spunk, but it was too late. Malfoy moaned and thrust forward, filling Ron’s mouth with his bittersweet release. Surprised by the fact that he didn’t mind the taste in the least, Ron swallowed over and over, drinking every last drop of Malfoy’s rich seed.

“Bloody hell, Weasley, that was _brilliant_ ,” Malfoy exhaled loudly, running his hand through his hair.

Ron smiled proudly and watched Malfoy as he pulled up his trousers and started to walk away.

“What about me?” Ron asked, unbuttoning his trousers.

Malfoy shook his head, but came back to stand in front of Ron. “I can’t miss my next class. Meet me at lunch time and I’ll more than make it up to you.” He leaned in and kissed Ron almost tenderly. It was odd…but nice.

As he walked off, Ron shouted after him. “Hey, what are you going to do about Harry?”

Malfoy turned around, walking backwards toward the castle. “Nothing. I lied. I wasn’t actually with him last night.”

Ron gaped. “Then what was this all about?”

“I figured it was time you got over that git. Although it wasn’t me, he _was_ shagging someone last night. I saw them.”

“Who?” Ron shouted at Malfoy, who was quite a bit further away by now.

Malfoy turned his back on Ron and shouted his reply.

“Your sister.”

Ron gasped and sat down hard on the bench. “ _Bloody hell!_ ” he thought out loud. “How many surprises can I take in one day?”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


End file.
